Tag Archives: The Smiths

Analyze this: Girlfriend in a Coma by The Smiths

It’s time once again for Analyze this. If you’re just joining us, this is where your humble narrator interjects his own parenthetical responses into a once-popular song. In this edition, I look at “Girlfriend in a Coma” by The Smiths.

Girlfriend in a coma, I know
I know – it’s serious (You figured that out all by yourself, did you?)
Girlfriend in a coma, I know
I know – it’s really serious (This just in. Yes, comas are really serious.)

There were times when I could
Have murdered her (I’m sorry?)
But you know, I would hate
Anything to happen to her (You mean, aside from the murder you’ve envisioned?)

No, I don’t want to see her. (Actually, nobody asked.)

Do you really think
She’ll pull through? (I can’t rule it out.)
Do you really think
She’ll pull through?  (Are you asking me to put odds on it? Do you have a bet going with your friends?)
Do… (Ummm…nice sentence. Very brief. Can we get more of those from you?)

Girlfriend in a coma, I know
I know – it’s serious (Boy, is this your first day on earth or something? I’m about ready to slap the taste out of your mouth.)
My, my, my, my, my, my baby, goodbye (Ummmm, why did you ask if she’ll pull through if you’ve already decided to say your goodbye?)

There were times when I could
Have strangled her (I’m sure that feeling was mutual.)
But you know, I would hate
Anything to happen to her (Riiiiiight!)
Would you please let me see her? (Only if a cop cuffs you and stands right next to you.)

Hey pal, are those flowers for your girlfriend in a coma?

Hey pal, are those flowers for your girlfriend in a coma?

Do you really think
She’ll pull through? (Son, I think I already answered this question. Heck, you did too. You know, when you said goodbye to your baby…about a minute ago.)
Do you really think
She’ll pull through? (You listen as well as my wife.)
Do… (Again, great sentence. You’re very well-spoken.)
Let me whisper my last goodbyes (Let me guess…you’re going to whisper your last goodbyes with a pillow over her face? I don’t think so, pal. Maybe you could write your last goodbyes on a napkin or something and I’ll make sure she gets it.) 

I know it’s serious.